Take a moment to settle into a quiet space. Find a seat, breathe deeply, and let the noise of the day fade a little. When you're ready, write down your to-do list—everything that comes to mind for today or the week ahead. No task is too small or too big—just get it all out on the page.
Now, take a look at what you’ve written. You might see things like work projects, household chores, school assignments, errands, appointments, even workouts. It’s a list full of responsibilities—things that need to get done.
But here’s a question: did you include anything that’s just for you? Something relaxing, joyful, or purely restorative—without a deadline or clear “purpose”? If not, you’re not alone. We’re often so conditioned to focus on productivity that rest and play don’t even register as things we’re allowed to plan for.
This is where the idea of self-permission comes in, says Â鶹AV Assistant Professor of Social Work Hayden Dawes.
In 2018, Dawes began writing personal permission slips—simple, intentional notes giving himself space to feel, rest, or act in ways that honored his well-being. For example:
“I give myself permission to rest without guilt.”
“I give myself permission to feel joy, even when things are uncertain.”
“I give myself permission to not measure my worth by productivity.”
Over time, this practice became central to his research on what he calls radical permission.
Radical permission combines the idea that we can reclaim agency in our lives by tuning into our true needs through self permission, rather than performing for others’ expectations. Radical permission is an extension of self-permission, done through utilizing self-permission slips in a community setting. Sharing one’s permission slips with others increases accountability and offers support through community encouragement and reinforcement. It is the collective aspect of implementing permission slips that leads to radical permission and expands the practice to create greater overall change.
Self-permission is hard work, and it can feel unfamiliar and often uncomfortable. But at its core, self-permission is about well-being and is worth the challenges.
“At its heart, self-permission is about listening inward and choosing actions that align with your authentic self,” says Dawes. “It’s not about indulging every impulse, and it’s not a pass to ignore responsibilities. Instead, it’s a practice of self-alignment—of giving yourself the okay to rest, to feel, to heal, and to grow, even when the world isn’t asking you to.”
Everyone’s permission slips will look different. What matters is that they reflect your inner truth—not just what the world tells you is valuable, says Dawes.
Now, return to your to-do list. Read it over again. Could you add one more item—just for you? Something small, healing, or joyful? Maybe it’s a walk outside, an hour with a good book, or simply permission to pause.
Whatever it is, Dawes says, let it be a reminder: you are allowed to be more than your output.
Â鶹AV School of Social Work and Social Research
